blog.

yeeeeeeesh. I am sick of my insomnia. I can't fall asleep until late late, then I get myself up early in the morn' to see if i will be tired enough at the end of the day to go to sleep like a normal person. I am just tired as tired can be. I feel as if I stayed up 36 hours, then ran a marathon. I don't want to feel like that!

I'm in st. peter, with my sister. She's great. We're bonding and stuff. It's fun!

I love the office. A tonnnnnnnnn. She has all the seasons of the office on DVD. That's what I'll be working on. Sorry, winter break homework. You gotta give me a few days time to relax!

Christmas was fine. I got stuff, like always. I don't actually like presents that much. Well, I do, but what I like better is thinking about the thought, time, and money people spent on me. So even if I'm not thrilled with the present, I'm genuinely thankful for it. Because you tried. That's honorable.

yeah.... bye!

good.

Love a 9-something minute song with pretty lyrics written/performed by a gentle-voiced folksy singer?

The Trapeze Swinger - Iron & Wine


Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But
Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'F**k the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And
Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
But now you're lit up by the city
So
Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower call
Then pass us by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Gleam and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found'
and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And
Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapezeSwinger high as any savior
But
Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright on cinder gray
And spray paint'Who the hell can see forever?'
And
Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clowns that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
Had an element of danger
So
Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if I make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin' on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers

...

cabin fever, anyone?

snow is painful, preventing. it layers the ground, swirling slightly with the winds. it's beautiful, sure, but it knows how to drive you crazy.

my home is starting to feel like the empty, grand hotel deep in colorado. i'm there, taking care of it during the off-season. but i start seeing things, things that shouldn't be there. i start going, well, INSANE.

yes, my life has taken form of a stephen king novel. i am living the shining. living it, i tell you.

i absolutely can not wait until christmas. christmas, that is the day when i will see people, REAL PEOPLE, otherwise than my parents. i don't care about presents, my family's presence will be enough. see, that was lame. a result of cabin fever, i tell ya, i really do.

it's not enough that i drag out sleep, homework, eating, reading as long as possible, it's not long enough! i'm running out of things to do.





this house is confining. i can't breathe anymore.

woe is me, the melodramatic.

I'm trying to write my book review, I really am. But I'm so easily distracted. But there's really nothing to be distracted by. Except facebook. And the book I'm reading. And food.

But still, I have to write it! I'm just not feeling creative, dang it!

I can't even think of what to blog about.

I'm stuck in my house, by the way. SNOW. With my PARENTS, if it wasn't bad enough yet. My parents aren't really favorable...at all. I'm not going to go into reasons why, just be glad you're not in my situation!

What the HECK am I supposed to do with myself until Christmas! Shovel? No thanks!

ahem.

Attention. I have an announcement for all men. If you have a partial mustache, SHAVE IT NOW. It looks very creepy! It is attractive to NO ONE.

Sorry for the tough love, but for God's sake, no one likes how it looks. I hate that sort of there, sort of not there 'stache. It really is creepy looking.

SO SHAVE IT OFF.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

As some (maybe most) of you die-hard Twilight fans know, Stephenie Meyer was in the process of making a 5th Twilight book. Too bad that someone was enough of an idiot to post it on the Internet...ILLEGALLY. Now she's pissed and won't work on it "indefinitely."

She also went on to tell her fans that she herself posted a rough draft of Midnight Sun on her website, 264 pages of what I find already to be my favorite. It's the viewpoint of Edward. It's incredible. I couldn't stop reading.

She needs to finish this book. It's torture to know she's not even working on it anymore. Stupid! Someone had to ruin this.

If you want to read the draft of Midnight Sun.... www.stepheniemeyer.com/midnightsun.html

Read it if you haven't yet.

protection matters.

Since I've been such a jerk to my parents, I was forced to drive my father to Mankato today so we could "bond and Christmas shop, yay!" Good idea, mom. He kept wandering off, and then yelling at me when I found him. But I did get my mom's present and buy myself the Twilight soundtrack, which is really awesome. My dad bought my mom some shiny bling, and he bought himself some mixed nuts. It was just superb.

We went out for pizza, the name something that I declare unpronounceable. It was delicious. I ate my half and my sister Kelli, who showed up when the words "I'll pay for supper" came out of my father's mouth, chatted about trivial things with us as I read the fourth Twilight.

I tried to drive home, but I was too dang tired to keep my eyes open. My dad wasn't in much better shape. So we cranked the oldies and forced ourselves to sing along. I need rest, but I got a crap-load of things to do. So I apologize for the lamest blog ever, but I am just not in the mood to be creative. Get over it.

Good night, and good luck.

imagine my eyes rolling.

I am dead tired.

Today was cookie day. I don't really care if you don't care to know what cookie day is. I'm explaining it anyway. My mother invites her entire family over to our house to, unsurprisingly, bake and eat cookies all day. We do it every year. I get sick to my stomach every year, but it's almost worth it.

I hate that I look outside at 5:30 and almost think it's 10 at night. It messes with me.

I need the fourth twilight book. And then for a few days, I can stop freaking out. Then I'm going to re-read the series. Or something like that. I hate that I'm addicted, but hey, it's better than being addicted to drugs. Or at least that's what my sister said.

I had no idea I felt this sick. I crawled over to the computer and now I am realizing vomit may be in my future. I'm sorry I told you, but anything that comes to mine, I'm just typing. It's a good way to go about blogging.

I can't believe how cold it is outside. I don't like Minnesota in the winter. It seems there are only two seasons here, summer and winter. Spring and autumn are more like...stages into the seasons.

Robert Pattinson sings beautifully. And Iron & Wine songs are so simple, yet pretty.

Yuck. I need tums or something.

That's not the note I want to leave on... How about I tell you I'm going on a Wal-Mart run for mango bars? Not for me, of course, since I'm full beyond the point of ever feeling empty again, but for my father. Because then, I shall get my twilight book!

Good Luck to me!

high school=not my scene.

I had a short conversation with a couple of wonderful friends after school today. We got to talking about the upsetting behaviors of high school students. Why are the guys such players? Why are the girls so mean? Everyone is shallow, fake, and they think way too highly of themselves.

Also, high school is just getting old. The only class I struggle to understand is math, and I really could care less about it. All of the homework, the daily, pointless tests, on and on the list goes.

I'm deeply considering going post-secondary, as soon as next year. So are they. It seems like a good idea. Get away from the awful people and actually LEARN. Now that sounds like my scene.

It's a decision I'm going to have to struggle to make, I'll have to talk to my dean, my parents, friends. I don't want to go to college so young and alone.

It's a life choice, and I'm really not great at deciding big stuff like this. But I will ponder endlessly, and I'm sure it'll end up so that one sole thing decides my future. Something trivial, like a fortune cookie, or a statement made by my 40-year-old cousin, or I'll fall and wake up with my choice. I don't know. I just don't know.

What I do know? High school is getting old.