he's black!

Well, I've decided to do one blog about the 2008 election. I'm not going to shove my opinions down your throat. McCain? Obama? You can decide that for yourself. But DO NOT decide who you are voting for president by the color of their skin.

I'm not even talking about those who are racist. I'm talking about those who are quite the opposite of racist. I'm yelling at those who are voting for Obama because he IS black. When those people say they want change, it shouldn't just be the color of the president's skin.

Now, I'm not against Obama. I actually like him. Better than McCain/Palin, that is. But I do not want him elected president because he is black, and I don't want him to not be elected president because he's black. I know that probably doesn't make sense to most of you, but that's fine.

Look at possible presidents for their ideas and views, not their skin color, hmm?

SUPER.

Soooooooooo, I was at church today. That's normal, its Sunday, its October. But right in the middle of the pastor's sermon, I hear...thunder? No. That's not thunder, its a BLIZZARD. Oh. I look out the window, and lo and behold, its...snowing?!?!?! But its only October! That has never stopped mother nature/Minnesota before, but still. I took my grandmother out for lunch today. It's terribly windy. Dangerous idea.

Ohhh, seasons. you always sneak up on me. I feel as if there was no fall, and just yesterday my skin was melting in the sun. Today, I felt the bone deep chill saying "I'm Winter, and I am here!" and also reminding my mind how much I do not like the cold. I'm not skilled enough to do any of the fun winter activities, such as skiing or ice skating. So that leaves me stuck in my home, begging my father to heat out house past the 62 degrees he thinks is warm enough. I huddle under eight blankets and will myself to think of anything but the cold.

As I write this, I see out our large bay window at the snow blowing horizontally, of the white that is accumulating on the ground, and of the warmth leaving my fingers and toes.

But, since my parents think I'm too flipping crabby and all I do is complain, I shall tell you the things winter lets me get away with.

-My diet during the cold months consists of hot chocolate and soup.
-I can wear scarves and gloves in school if I want to, which I do.
-I can put on a couple of pounds and say I'm just trying to stay warm.
-I can take naps all the time, because there's nothing better to do!
-Hot baths. Oh yes.

Well. There you go. Winter seems to be here. Dang. But I'll enjoy what I can and survive on that, waiting for the days where I can see green grass and leaves on trees again.

pro-?

Abortion. Hot subject, I know. "Oh, I'm pro-life." "Ohh, I'm pro-choice." It's always one or the other. Why must it be black or white? There are so very many shades of grey in between.

I've thought about it and thought about it, and I've come up with my thorough opinion on abortions. I am, for the most part, pro-life. I mean, really, babies are people. They don't deserve to die before they get the chance to live outside of a womb. And, yes, they are living when they're inside of a womb. It seems like many who abort brush aside that fact.

But the reason I am not completely pro-life because there are certain situations where abortions should be an option. And I can only think of two circumstances worthy of having the choice.

#1- If the father of the baby is a rapist. Because that is just creepy. And every day, that mother would have to look at her baby and remember the time she was sexually abused. That just is not right on any level.
#2- If the woman could die before, during, or soon after the birth of the child. Self-explanatory.

Any other time, the idea of abortion sounds incredibly selfish. You know why? Because it is. If you are a teenager and it would 'ruin your life' or you're not married yet or if you just don't want a baby right now, TOO BAD.

Adoption. Instead of killing a baby, give it to a family who can't have one of their own. Its so simple! And much more humane.

As for teen pregnancies, I do not think they should be able to get abortions. I'd rather they get help. They deserve the shame. If I was to become pregnant during high school, I'd need to live with the shame. Because that way I'm dealing with my mistake in a more appropriate manner. I'd be more ashamed if I aborted the baby.

I'm not going to tell you to not have sex, I'll just say you better be as freaking safe as possible if and when you do. You absolutely don't want a baby, and don't want any chance of becoming pregnant? Don't have sex. Common sense--I swear, people don't have it anymore.

It is all about the choices you make, so make the right ones. Hopefully you're not killing a life.

P.S. If abortions are ever no longer an option, don't you dare go performing your own abortion. Shame on you.

dance-floor discoveries.

You've probably heard. There was a sweet sixteen party last week, and it was a dance. Dances are fun, right? Loud music, a ton of people. The bodies are grooving to the music. Good stuff, yes?



Maybe not.



I had no idea how much people my age liked to grind. No idea whatsoever. A great song comes on, and then all I see in my panorama is girls and guys dancing as dirtily as they can. It looks like sex with clothes on. It freaked me out. Where did everyone learn to dance like that, and more importantly, why do they WANT to dance like that? To those questions, I have no answers.



Can we take a step back from the whole thing, and blame it on the media for making them dance like that? I don't think we can. You can most certainly choose the way you dance. It is a way to express yourself. And when I see my friends expressing themselves in that way, oh, I did not enjoy it. I only enjoyed making fun of it. Which I did plenty of, because I decided that I should have a good time without feeling like a skank. (Excuse my language, but that's the best word for what I saw.)



"I was just trying to have some fun." Really? You can't think of any way to have fun except to dance unreasonably dirty? Not buying that excuse.



So here's the deal. Grind your pelvis against someone else's all you want, it is not my place to tell you otherwise. But think about what kind of message you are sending out to the recipient(s).

my words. your words.

Words--they're written as combinations of letters and spoken with our voices. There's many ways to use words. You can use them to inform, persuade, entertain, among others. They can flow out of us like a waterfall, and sometime they just don't come out at all.

Words can be powerful. You can express your feelings, taking words straight from the very core of you and splaying them out, hoping someone can relate. Showing your anger through words. That can sometimes be quite hard. Resorting to swearing shows weakness, in my opinion. But if you are truly upset, and your words are full of malice, intense, seeing them scar the person as they surge out of you, that's a ridiculously powerful way to use words.

It's those meaningless words, those filler words, that I don't like. Words to fill the space of silence, no good. Yet nothing could be worse than words spoken that are false. Lies have got to be the one way words are not powerful. Words that are not true, what a waste of breath.

I am a hypocrite. I just complained about how lies are awful, yet in a recent blog I expressed how much I lie. I hate being a hypocrite. Lies are pathetic, hence I am. I'm trying to change, I am. It takes time!But, yes, words are great and powerful. Use them in the correct manner. And most importantly, mean what you say.

fearing the worst.

Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

I have heard this quote many times. And not once have I agreed with it. I don't fear I'm too powerful, my deepest fear is that I'm just not plain good enough. I don't know if this is supposed to be a motivational quote, I don't care. It doesn't cut it for me. I highly doubt that I'm powerful beyond measure, and even if so, I don't think it'd freak me out that much.


FDR:

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

I don't like this one much either. There's puh-lenty to fear! I'm not saying we should be in constant fear, but we need to be aware of dangers. Fear is a part of life, and I challenge you to find one person who is not afraid of anything except fear itself. I doubt you will.


Don Miguel Ruiz:

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are."

Now this one I can agree with. Death is something we all must learn to accept. As for life, some do not choose to accept. Which can end in death...you see how that works? All I can say for this is-- live your life.

tears.

I don't cry much. To other people, it doesn't look like I have much to cry about. And in a sense, that is true. I've never lost a loved one, never had my heart broken, haven't gotten in any huge fights with anyone, I'm doing well in school and Cross Country. But in another sense, so very many little things happen to me and they add up so very quickly.

So Thursday, I had a meet in Owatonna. I ran my race and got a pretty decent time and I was not in pain, but as I ran through the finish line, I took in a deep breath and started to cry. Without explanation. Once the tears stopped flowing, I tried telling Annabelle what happened, laughing about my sudden outburst of tears, and as I was laughing, I started to cry again. But it didn't last long as my laughter overruled my crying.

My unexplainable crying got me to thinking...(Which I always seem to be doing, not only do I think but over think) I was crying for a reason. I had to be. I realized that I obviously don't cry when I'm sad. So all of these built-up tears that have never been shed, they burst out whenever they want to. I guess I just cleverly disguised it. And, man, once I start crying, it does not stop until there are no more tears to cry. It was ridiculous.

I was crying because a lot of things that aren't going completely right at this point in my life. And let me tell you, the list seems endless. It's overwhelming. It truly is. But now that I've had a soul-cleansing cry, I'm ready to try to make things go the way I want them to.

So maybe my unexpected fit of tears was exactly what I needed to realize that I'm not happy and I need to change that. Wish me luck.