my wandering mind.

Yeah. I'm going to complain. And talk about other stuff.

I hate math. My hate of something that is so necessary to know is not a good thing. I hate it so much I've pretty much ruled it out of any career path I will take. I don't care if I'm okay at it, it doesn't make me dislike it any less. In algebra two, we're studying something I have given up trying to understand. I'm upset with myself.

I just read the first twilight book, yesterday. It took me less than 1/5 of a day to read it. And just like every other teenage girl in the word, I'm obsessed. I need to read the other books. I crave to read them NOW. I won't be able to focus again until I have the next book in my hands, which unfortunately, won't be until Monday at the earliest. That's a wasted day. I won't be able to focus on my homework, or anything else. I can't focus now. It's hard.

Well, now that I've talked about Twilight, I can't focus enough to even complain about something else. So...

end of blog.

my life be like... this?

I can't blog. I've nothing to blog about. Well, that's a lie. I started many different blogs, but was stuck after the first paragraph. I didn't know where I was going with them.

Writer's block, anyone? That's rather unfortunate, due to the fact there's a feature paper that I'm trying to finish.

Sunny D tastes incredibly smooth. I mean, it's noticeably smooth. It's almost weird.

I haven't read the Twilight books. But I watched the movie. And fell in love. With. Robert. Pattinson. And the chances of even SEEING him in person are slimmer than an anorexic chick.

I'm sick. Sore throats don't go well with a person who does nothing but talk. I'm not all that enjoyable when I can't talk.

I'm sick of this texting craze. I miss phone calls.

Boy with a coin- Iron&Wine. GREAT song. listen to it. then thank kyle.

3 day week next week... woo thanksgiving.
:\ My father's side of the family = Um. Fun? Not quite.

I visited two very dear friends this weekend up at their college and it just reminded me how much I miss them. You know how you put something out of your mind so you can just go about life without thinking about it, then it pops back and you get a sad, sinking feeling in your stomach that is pretty darn familiar? Yeah.

Well, my fingers are cold. So I'm going to have to go.

untitled

We spend so much of our lives waiting. If you added it all up, it'd be years and years. Just think of your life so far, waiting for summer, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for more, for answers, for something better, for anything worth waiting for. We're always waiting, aren't we?

I don't like it. I just want to live life. The future can always, always, always change. Things happen. Plans change.

That's how it is.

i'm no longer running smooth.

I don't feel well. I haven't felt well for a long time. I haven't been fully awake since only God knows when, I've forgotten what it feels like to not be tired. I'm never fully there when I talk to people. I don't give anything 100% anymore. I have no drive, no new thoughts, no emotions for myself. I don't feel okay. I feel bleak. I'm in a slump.

Every night I get into the shower. I turn the knobs until the water spurting out makes my skin rage red because it's so hot. I then take my bar of soap and scrub my skin raw. I'm trying to rub off the layer of skin that makes me feel like this. The layer of skin I don't like. That layer is made up of all the things I don't like about myself. I scrub especially hard on my shoulders, as if to remove the weight of the world from them.

Sheesh. I don't want to come off as depressed, because I don't think I am. I'll get out of my slump.

I always do.

Hi.

It's never ceases to amaze me how right about this time every year, I feel strange.

Today I found myself singing Christmas songs, and wondering when they'll be on the radio so I'm not belting them out off key. That seems like something a cheery person excited for Christmas. But that's not me. I get so sick of Christmas songs that I flip out at radios, people, singing stuffed animals.

Recently I found myself wishing there was snow on the ground so I could bundle up and build a snowman, or throw a snowball or two at my mom or dad, or other fun stuff like that. That's not like me. There no season I dislike as much as winter. Being cold sucks. I cold right now, and that makes me unhappy.

I find myself wanting winter break to be here, to spend time with my family, buy and wrap presents, watch Elf and other assorted funny/cute Christmas movies. But again, that cannot be me! I'm always and forever agitated by my parents, I suck at picking out presents, I wrap gifts like a 4-year-old, and I've seen those movies a billion times.

I'm not a huge fan of the whole winter-holidays thing. I'm not what you would call cheery. So why do I feel so excited for the whole thing?

Bye.

rants and raves about some stuff.

Hi.


Rant- Dial-Up Internet. Not only did it take 7 minutes to load JUST THIS PAGE, it takes a long time to load any page. And downloading music? 1 song=45 minutes. Homework that involves Internet is a nightmare. My mother and father don't use the computer enough to buy high-speed or anything. Yet when they do use the computer, they get just as, or even more, frustrated with the speed as I do.

Rave- Say Anything. It's a band. If you've never heard of them, or only know them by that one song, you need to fix that. Songs by them that I recommend- Total Revenge, I Want to Know Your Plans, A Walk Through Hell, and pretty much any other song by them. You Will fall in love with Max Bemis's voice, I just know it.

Rant- Starting a fight over anything and everything. I understand your angry about your job, dad, but for the love of God, don't take it out on your family.

Rave- My parents reaction to our house getting toilet papered. They were, get this, EXCITED. They woke me up early so I could see what had happened. They told me they never thought anyone would drive all the way into the boonies to make a mess like those fiends did. They think I'm sooo popular now.

Rant- The fact that I just don't have enough hours in a day. I go to bed at a incredibly reasonable time, and wake up at a reasonable hour. So why do I find myself falling asleep in every single class? I slip into bed and fall asleep terribly fast. I'm not that busy, I mean I go to school like everyone else, but I'm not always doing something after school. I go home and laze around because I'm too tired to do anything. There's something wrong with me.

Rave- I think my motorcycle burn is finally healing. It doesn't ooze so much and there seems to be an actual layer of skin covering it.

I think I'm done, for now.

Blame It On Me.

I did something stupid. And there's no one to blame but myself. That's the funnest kind of mistake, iddn't it?

I burnt myself. In the literal sense of the word. I burnt my leg, to be specific. It was on my father's motorcycle. He left me unattended with it while he went to vote, and I guess even at age 15 I'm not smart enough to stay away from the damn muffler. I just wanted to sit on it. Yet I forgot something very key -- make sure when you swing your leg over, it lands on the foot pedal, not the hell-hot muffler. So my leg is burnt.

And then I made another massive mistake. I put a band-aid over it, but it turns out (of course), the band-aid isn't big enough. And then I must take it off, and that's when it rips some of the burnt skin right off of my leg. NASTY.

Ready for my next mistake? I hop in the shower. I can't remember the last time I've been in that much pain.

Next mistake? I cover it with a wrap. Why's that bad? The wrap stuck the areas where I no longer had skin!

Well, I finally told my mom and dad. (Yes, I didn't tell them about it until this point, AKA another mistake.) Then we started giving it proper care. We washed it out with peroxide, then gooped on triple antibiotic ointment, and wrapped it gently with a non-stick bandage. I let it air out during the day, and every time I hit it against something, I die a little inside. I have to wear shorts so no fuzzy crap gets caught in it, because that's already happened (woop, another mistake), and it's a pain to get out.

It still oozes and bleeds, but not as much. Luckily, I don't think its infected. It'll leave a pretty sweet scar, hopefully. I should at least get something in return for all this pain.

Holiday Lies.

Why do we lie to our children?

Why do we tell them that a chubby, jolly man sneaks into our house in the middle of the night, putting presents under pine trees? He gets off his sleigh that jingles with bells and is powered by reindeer, wearing a velvet-type suit and sporting a lovely, classy white beard. Cute story, but do we truly need to tell our children that this is the man to get us presents instead of us? Would they really care? Either way they're getting presents!!

And the Easter Bunny? Really? Jesus rose from the dead, so a bunny fills a basket with goodies and hides eggs? I don't get it.

The Tooth Fairy? Oh, my tooth fell out. What do I do? Put it under my pillow, of course. By tomorrow morning a dollar/penny/dime/nickel/quarter takes it place! Dang, that Tooth Fairy, she's good!

Sure, it lets the kids imaginations run wild, but at what expense? When they find out, they're heartbroken. Their own parents lied to them. All of those Christmas carols, Santas at the mall, hidden eggs, disappearing teeth, they were total lies! It doesn't seem right, does it?

Yet still, my future children will be brought up believing in them, just because. That's life.

I did something bad.

But it was fun!

My friend's mom made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She had one too. We ate these extremely peanut buttery sandwiches with vigor. A long day at school definitely can build up one's appetite. We sat in her car, enjoying our feast, when we came to the point where all that was left were the crusts. We had nowhere to put these remnants of our sandwiches, due to the lack of proper disposal containers in our high school parking lot. So, with this problem, we thought of a solution that would benefit those less fortunate than ourselves. Our solution was simple, take the crusts, put back into ziploc bags, and toss out of car window. This would be a cherished meal for the hungry that lurk the parking lot. But, unfortunately, my friend's delicious driving skills ran over our ingenious donation to the hungry! The crusts were squished, along with the hopes of those who wanted to eat them. We were full of sorrow, we had ruined the very thing we had created. We mourned for a moment, and then moved on with our lives. It was a good day.

Ralph Nader

Oh Ralph, you need to be our president. You had the most sensible ideas back in 2004. I was just a wee 6th grader and I realized this. So why do you get less than 2% of votes? Maybe its due to the fact you were an independent candidate. Why don't people vote for those of the independent and/or green party? Because they're not an elephant or a donkey?? Hmph. Well then, you'll just have to get yourself an animal to represent yourself. Why not something a bit less brash than those animals? How about something cute, like a koala bear? Penguin, kitten, baby chick, zebra, giraffe? Then, all those who are suckers to cute stuff will vote for you! You still won't win, but we'd be making headway.