tears.

I don't cry much. To other people, it doesn't look like I have much to cry about. And in a sense, that is true. I've never lost a loved one, never had my heart broken, haven't gotten in any huge fights with anyone, I'm doing well in school and Cross Country. But in another sense, so very many little things happen to me and they add up so very quickly.

So Thursday, I had a meet in Owatonna. I ran my race and got a pretty decent time and I was not in pain, but as I ran through the finish line, I took in a deep breath and started to cry. Without explanation. Once the tears stopped flowing, I tried telling Annabelle what happened, laughing about my sudden outburst of tears, and as I was laughing, I started to cry again. But it didn't last long as my laughter overruled my crying.

My unexplainable crying got me to thinking...(Which I always seem to be doing, not only do I think but over think) I was crying for a reason. I had to be. I realized that I obviously don't cry when I'm sad. So all of these built-up tears that have never been shed, they burst out whenever they want to. I guess I just cleverly disguised it. And, man, once I start crying, it does not stop until there are no more tears to cry. It was ridiculous.

I was crying because a lot of things that aren't going completely right at this point in my life. And let me tell you, the list seems endless. It's overwhelming. It truly is. But now that I've had a soul-cleansing cry, I'm ready to try to make things go the way I want them to.

So maybe my unexpected fit of tears was exactly what I needed to realize that I'm not happy and I need to change that. Wish me luck.