this friday.

Again, I must express my nervousness to take the test. The test that will tell me that I either at least another week stuck being the very most depressed person in the world or if I'm handed a small, square card that I can tuck in my wallet and smile such a smile that tells the world I've never been happier. It means a lot to me to get my license. It's going to be one of those moments in my life when I know things are going to happen. Get my license, get a job, learn responsibility.

This doesn't scare me. Not even a little. There was a point in my life where nothing really happened. My life has been comatose for years now. I want a job, I want to do things on my own, I need to. I'd like to go post secondary next year and move into a dorm, but I know it won't happen. I am independent. I didn't choose to be independent, I like people sometimes. I just am.

So when I'm forced to live with my parents for at the minimum of another year, it aggravates me. I know college is hard, I know living on my own is scary...for other people. I'm glad my parents will help me pay for school and a few bills, but I don't want to rely on them for everything. I want to do things on my own. Starting the day I get my license. Which could be Friday.

If I don't pass, I'm going to be so very sorry for the guy in my car when he says I didn't pass. He'll see me break down and absolutely weep. Hopefully he'll be smart and just leave before I punch him.

If I do pass, I'll probably still weep. But it'll be out of joy. So that makes it a bit better.

I don't care very much for birthdays. But I'm hoping this one is the one that I know things are finally progressing again.